Don’t lose yourself.

When you care for someone,

Don’t lose yourself.

When you love others,

Don’t lose yourself.

When you help someone,

Don’t lose yourself.

When you want to make other happy,

Don’t lose yourself.

Build your life,

Without losing yourself.

Have a career,

Without losing yourself.

Go to places,

Without losing yourself.

Love, care and be intimate with someone,

Without losing yourself.

Because when you lose yourself

You lose your purpose,

You lose your determination,

You lose your joy,

You lost your life.

Often time ….

We give it all,

Time, energy, money, and love

But what we got in return?

Does love to need to be reciprocated?

You may ask.

Of course!

we are no saint,

Nor an Angel or God

We are People,

We are who we are,

Unique, stupid, crazy

Imperfectly perfect,

Trying to win them,

By losing our self

Is one step away to hell

So, if you feel un-wanted

Just go!

Let it go!

Because loosing ourself, 

Means dying! 

(Original Poem written in Doha, Qatar)

Copyright @savingcent

SOCMED DETOX at times of difficulty

 

It took me so long to create another blog, I actually i do not know where to begin, a lot of things happen that made me idle. Sometimes in our life we cannot exactly explain how we feel, we can only seek for total seclusion while going through a lot of difficulties, Sometimes we are at the edge of the clip, we don't know what next, is it giving up, or trying our best of luck, jump, swim and let the wave carry us somewhere we don't even know.

A lot of individuals who are laughing so hard are dying inside. So why do they pretend to be happy if you are not, you may ask. The truth is smile is the best way to answer things you cannot even explain. Smile and say you are fine is the best solution for you not to explain yourself because you yourself don't even know what is going on. 

The first 6 months of 2022 was worst for me, and July is consider the end of my  limit as a person..... I may not be able to retaliate my situation but i wanna share the lesson i have during the time that i am feeling so down and have reached rock bottom.

1. SOCMED DETOX

Social media is the world of perfect curated life, notification makes me feel so stress, someone just got new job, got promotion, having a birthday, visiting new places, has boyfriend, got engage, getting married, showing romantic moments, oh my God! name it. 

When you are someone who does not have any of those always being online will add to your agony. You feel so down and your life is nothing compared to others.

Am not saying that you quit social media, but what i am saying is try to eliminate your presence, because the worst is you will create a post that you may regret in the future, so better to seclude your presence when your thoughts are scattered.

2. EMBRACE YOUR PAIN

The very first thing you can do when your going through something is to acknowledge the current situation. Trying to be present in the situation will help you alleviate your suffering because only by admitting what is wrong you will be able to find the right solution for whatever you're going through.

Cry it, admit that you are weak, you don't have to talk it around, you just have to be alone and gather your thoughts. Evaluate your pain by asking yourself, what am I crying for? will this problem matter after one year? what are my options? ect...

3. TRY ALTERNATIVE JOY

What makes you happy? is it riding a bicycle? taking photos? playing sports? then do it! 

Doing things that makes you happy such as your hobbies will help you have another world and forget what your going through. You may say that it contradicts point No.2 which is to embrace you pain. But it's not, believe me.

Knowing you can do more will boost your confidence and will help you find solution to your problem.

4. NO, IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE

In our adult life, especially those people who grew up having a strong cultural upbringing it is very difficult to say no. Because we are so afraid to hurt the people around us, we are sad to disappoint them and not being able to give things that make them happy. But if we live life only considering what other people has say about us, what other people think of us, and what other people feel about us then we are not really living for ourself, we are living for them, and we will end up disappointed.

Learning that no is a complete sentence, that i don't have to explain why is so powerful. My criteria for this is simple. 

        1. If saying yes to other people means saying no to myself then it's a NO!

       2. If it's not 100% yes, then it's a NO!

5. DISCONNECT

When your going through a lot you want to be alone and that's okey! During the time that i am into a deep trouble i disconnect with so many people, specially those people that want nothing but to to gossip. 

6. LOVE YOURSELF

No one beats a person who has deep self love, a deep self respect, because having those means you will not do things that will bring you huge agony, you will see to it that you have calculated risk. Loving yourself means you will walk away to the things that will hurt you, things that no longer lead you to your dreams. Loving yourself means self-priority, its not being selfish.

Corporate Shit

Well dress, well spoken

Coat and tie, high heels, and sunglasses.

Phone on the right, coffee on the left,

Welcome to the Corporate Shit!

 

Flashy, glittery, and fishy!

 

To many, it was a fantasy,

To us it was a reality.

They thought it was seating pretty,

Coffee is served, snacks are provided,

Just idling answering calls and emails.

Meeting here, meeting there!

Oh never forget those gate crashers!

 

360 views of the fantastic landscape

Oh, indeed it was a beauty!

Scenery for the many,

Vacation for the tourist!

They say we are lucky,

Indeed, we are!

Thousand have applied,

Few has been chosen.

 

From 8-5 we are paid to

Smile, laugh, and act like it was easy.

Living the mantra of,

Fake it, Do it, Till you make it!

 

But inside we are carrying the burden of the world

We did many good things

But our world crash if we made a single mistake

 

You know our name,

Might be even our position

But not our stress and sorrow.

 

Perhaps it’s time for you to be kind.

For if you only know what’s on surface

Then it’s good to say you know nothing!

(Original Poem written in Doha, Qatar)

Copyright @savingcent

 

  

Regret

 My sanctuary turns into the saddest cabin,

candles cries day and night.

while my own tears has dry up.

suddenly it’s all night,

darkness everywhere.

The rays of sunshine never come.

the place has been quit.

I am alive that's for sure,

for my heart is still beating so fast.

Yet to what i feel and think

i also don't know but, 

it felt like floating somewhere far

Where I can see nothing but waters and sky

I keep on paddling just to survive

to what i am thinking i also do not know.

All i know is that am still alive

as my heart is beating and racing still

while catching up my breathing.

Shall i blame myself or the people around me

i felt i was fooled and even betrayed

i felt i was drag into the darkness tunnel.

I regret my decision

For it cost me a lot.

I hope i buy time, 

to have a bit of clarity and ask myself 

if this is what i really want.

But it's too late for an Oscar drama.

Damage has been done!

Now, all I can is to continue survive

and so I spoke to God up above

Beg him to help me

for i am weak and i am about to give up

for I am about to reach my end

I am dying inside.

While laughing perfectly hiding my storm.

I ask my lord to rescue me

for this powerless servant has nothing to hold

except the help of the weak who believe in me.

and i can make it somehow.

At times I ask God, why me?

I wasn’t that bad after all.

I pray, give charity, and do good acts.

Up to now I don’t know the answer

I doubt myself for what life is all about

Is it about fame and success?

For those are just in past

 I want nothing but world small portion.

Wealth, status, and ownership is no longer what I fancy

For many I was a failure 

But I don’t give a fuck!

For life glitters are just for a show.

Photo belong to the rightful Owner

 Original Poem. All rights reserved

Earning money through Photography

August 2021 i was turn between buying Camera, or buy the latest I-phone in the market?. The reason behind this is that my 5 year old phone wanted to retire. As an online seller having a good phone with camera is the best option hence i needed to post most of my items online, plus i can use it for personal use and for my work too. It was like 90% for a new phone and 10% for a Camera. 

At the end i decided to by myself Canon M50 MII for a change! Photography was not new to me, I own an old DSLR Fujifilm (sorry i forgot the exact model) back in 2010. Photography was a hobby and it makes me feel relaxed and far away from my 8-5 job day at work. 

Being entrepreneur myself and as i was trying to search the youtube trying to figure out various ways to improve  myself in photography, i came across with various videos on how to make money through photography, At first i was honestly hesitant because i just want to have fun taking photos, i was afraid that if i turn this hobby to a money making, i will find myself working instead of having fun and relaxing, but then i also realized that if i can make money at the same time have fun then it would be much great. Added to that is i wanted to do vanlife in the future, and earning money anywhere i am would be a PLUS if i wanted to embark in this journey.

Although photography was not new, i really doubt about my skills, i do not know my subject, i just take random photos of things around me. As i prepare my photos for submission i have observe that i have great interest taking photos of flowers and animals. Both subject has special part in my heart. On the very same day i asked my sister to accompany me at Souq Waqif and Finally do photography with a purpose. And so i focus on my subject, submit my photos and pray to be approved! And I was!

I was so happy during that time, i cannot believe it! Really! am now a contributor!!!

But how did i do it? and where i am selling my photos or how do i earn money form photography?. Allow me to share to you some tips based on my experience.

How did i do it?

1. Prepare your Photos

Preparing your photos means know your subject, if your have various subject then i suggest that you choose your expertise and focus on it for few months or years before you move to another subject. As i mentioned above my forte is flowers and animals. So during my applications to various websites (ie: Shutterstock's, Getty Images and Alamy) i prepare my best photo of flowers and animals to submit for Contributor's Approval.(See my Portfolio https://shutr.bz/3BF1mYw)

If your interested to become Shutterstock's Contributor you may use the link to sign up: https://shutr.bz/3JsrFEe so good luck!

2. Submit Regularly

There would be a time that you almost don't want to go out and take photos because the earning is a bit very slow, but as i educate myself towards photography though youtube i realize that start was never been easy, you need to submit a lot of photos and help yourself to improved because the competition is too high. 

My personal suggestion is have fun, and set aside the earning, it will come naturally, so don't burden yourself from earning specially if you have only less than a thousand photos approved. Keep going, never give up!

3. Word of Mouth

When i went back to photography, 1st let my friends who are into photography business that am back, with open arms they help me to get back to track, because i have so much to catch up, with modern gear and all updates am really behind. With their help i manage to get back on track, go out and exert alot of effort to  shoot, even if at times i feel lazy i still push myself up to this day to take photo.

4. Create Instagram/Facebook Account

At present i believe that Instagram  and Facebook is the best way to promote your work, also boosting it will help you reach more people to your account. But of course you need to post regularly and have interactions with your followers.

5. Invest in Good lens

Many people who are very new to photography buys very expensive body, for me as long as you change your lens the body of your camera doesn't matter the most. The package of my camera is 15-45mm and its really hard to get good shoot specially with my subject. And so i buy myself 55-200 and i was so happy! I got good quality of photo and it really made a great upgrade.

Earning Money

6. Do part time photography gigs

In many occasion i do part time photography, being a woman living in middle east is advantage because will be able to get gigs, sometimes its already me saying no because of my schedule, but its fun to do it once in a while. And getting paid is the best because ahhh we work hard by the way.

7. Sell to various Website

I have 3 favorite website where i sale most of my photos Shutterstock's, Getty Images and Alamy. Of course there are many other website but because i have difficulty in managing few website i will stick to the 3 website as of the moment, because i feel like i can manage the 3 very well.

8. Use your photo as design background.

Am not good in digital design but i can say that i am earning quite good amount of money from it, with it using my own photos adds up to my earning and it feels awesome.

So are you in photography too? Share to me your experience, comments or Suggestions and i would love to get in touch.

Beautifying your home, beautifying your mind

(Photo Credit to the rightful Owner)

If their is one beautiful lesson that the Covid-19 Pandemic has given to us is to put more effort in beautifying our home.We often neglect prior to the pandemic because we don't spend much time at home, most of us use our home as a place to sleep and not a place to feel relax, renew our self. 

Many people live at their work place, or too focus at work that they forgot to have their own life outside work. I don't hate career oriented individual, but i always wanted to reckon that each of us must be willing to balance our career and personal life and the best way for us to show our love to ourselves is by making our place a better place to live, a place that we always look forward after a tiring and stressful days from work.

But how do we really beautify our place? Allow me to share few key points on how to do it. Just a disclaimer i am not in any manner expert on this field, whatever i share is based on my experience.

1. Take time to research

Beautifying our place needs the help of Mr. Google, Pinterest and YouTube. I really exert effort in knowing and defining what I  want. Like my color pallet, arrangement that I want and considering what i need. As many of you know i am minimalist, and so i want to have a clean and clear area as much as possible no clutter and only have few and functional furniture's that i'll be using. By having a good research i buy only what i need based on my goals and desire out put, this way i can save time, effort and money.

2. Define what you want

After researching you may feel overwhelmed that you want it all. Always know what you want. I did mine by knowing what color pallet makes me feel relax, and i took it from their. 

Have my own peg board and inspiration this way i can arrange my place as to my likings and what is functional.

3. Go for the right product

We often does the trial and error, we often choose what is the cheapest without doing the point number 1 which is researching. We have to avoid it all cost because its too expensive.

When i decided to re-do may room which i never did for many years, i read product review and choose quality products only which is at times a bit costly but knwoing that am getting quality products makes the decision a littel bit fast. 

I have a list of what i want and need and choose the best store that offer he best price because i don't want to buy something that will last me few days only. I want something that i can use and have ROI and enjoy using for a little longer.

4. Invest

Sometimes we want what is good, but we don't want to spend our money. Many of us will spend thousand for Cloths, shoes and bag. In my own opinion we also need spend to our bedroom. Because our bed catches us after a tiring day.

To some who do not have health issue may find it stupid to spend to medicated bed and pillows but for me spending money for the right kind of mattress helps me with my back pain problems, and neck issue that's why i am also spending for correct pillow which is obviously pricey than the regular. But the benefit paids alot.

5. Declutter

As you purchase quality product that would help you beautify your place and make your living easy its time to let go of the old stuff that doesn't spark joy or no longer benefits you. Many people find its difficult to depart with sentimental items because they attached it to the special person who give them the items or they attached their feeling to this items. 

The best thing that we can do if this is the agony we are facing is to treat item as an item, if its something broken and can never be repaired then its time to let it go. If its something with value but no longer serve purpose to us then its time to sale it and make money out of it. Being logical and taking advantage of the facebook market place will give us few earning rather than keeping the items and let the dust does the party. Its really an eye sore to see all this clutter.

6. Have fun

Turning into your place into a beautiful sanctuary can be stressful because its not always fun to do all the hardwork, at the middle you wanted to stop but you have to focus on your goal and know that great things takes time and you have to put alot of hardwork. It is fullfiling to finish all the project and enjoy your new santuary!

Let me know if what is your experience inre-doing your space!

Love for Photography

 

I was grade six when i first hold camera, i remember back then that you need to buy 12, 24 or 36 film shoot and you have to be very good so you can maximize your shoot and you wont burn your photo. The joy of waiting how does the photo looks was always been very exciting for me. A dopamine to my soul, i remember my childhood!

Back in high school i do bring our old fuji film camera and take shoot on special occasion. After college i had a chance to become USAID intern, work at Congress of the Philippines and study at University of the Philippines Diliman which never comes into my wildest imaginations. We visit so many places and Offices including Senate of the Philippines. What a wonderful experience that was freeze through photograph, and its always a wonderful feeling to look back in happy days, the feeling of gratitude increase. Beautiful experience that was forever engrave in my heart.

Moving on to Qatar, may first camera was Fujifilm and since then my love for photography was develop. I own few digital camera after that, taking photo become a habit and i also use my phone. But then i stopped, i stopped because i need to do medications and i dont want to photograph my hospital days, it makes me sad.

Here i am coming back to my love after deciding to buy myself Canon M50 Mark II in August 2021. I know that few people who know me taking photo for long time told me why not Nikon, ect, but really i cannot answer you too! perhaps its very expensive and Canon M50 Mark II is within my budget it is compact and will fit my bag and would give me powerful shoot as long as i have the correct lens for what i intend to shoot. 

Being minimalist myself i don't fancy carrying huge and bulky items, i want light hand carry camera, and currently am using 55-200mm lens which is very good telephoto lens ideal for portraits, sports, and wildlife photography. 

If in the future i will have more budget i would wanted to get Macro lense Canon 28mm f/3.5 for my products in e-shop and Canon EF-M 32mm F1.4 STM which can give me the bokeh effect that i always wanted. Although i am happy with 55-200mm i really want Canon 18-150 f/3.5 coz its the best overall lens! 

Ahhh i have long list to fulfill and i will have them one day at a time, for now i am happy with what i have. And i am just so excited as to what and where does photography might bring me and give me. For now let me share to you my personal thought about photography and what i get from it.

1. See people smiles

I do photograph as enthusiast, and not for money although i am receiving some photography works that give me back money or certain give backs and privilege. But for me their is more important thing than money and that is the joy i see in people whenever they get their photo, if they are happy, i am definitely happy for them too. It give me joy when i see people posting the photo i took in their social media, i feel proud of myself because i know somehow i made their day, they may forgot me in the future once am gone, but i hope they dont forget how happy they are when they look back to their photos.

2. Found and Re-connect with Friends

During my trip to Dubai last October 2021 because i am holding camera few people are asking me if i am a professional and i always answer them i am enthusiast. Some of them keep in touch through Instagram and its really feel good to know other people who has same interest as you are, you have so many things to talk about. I also re-connect with people i know before and asked them for some tips and advice as am really back to zero and navigating new camera which is kinda difficult for me. 

3. New found joy

Photography is an addiction, once you start, it becomes your blood, that runs within your body. For those who don't know photography or doesn't like photography they may thing that you are just capturing same place, same subject and its boring. But for me, everyday is a new shoot, and freezing the moment through photograph is all you can, because no experience is exactly the same, it will always be different from what you experience the previous day. It is a wonderful experience that makes me smile whenever i look back at those photographs specially if i can see that they are laughing or smiling, my heart is smiling too!

4. Stress reliever

Corporate world is honesty very stressful. Many of us work like a slave where in its too difficult to say no, or i don't want to do it, rather you can only reply yes sir or okey i will do it. 

Having something to do and look forward too after a very long and tiring day is always exciting. I forgot my worries and stress when i photograph, rather i focus on my subject and try my best to improve my shoot each and every day.

5. Earn Money

Photography give you money, freebies and privilege. I photograph few establishments and my Camera has receive good amount of ROI (return of investment) sometimes in a form of coupon, free stuff or monetary specially if they really like my shoot and wanted to use it for marketing purposes. I also receive work from a ladies who wanted to have portrait photograph and wanted to be photograph by lady, although i cannot share their photos on my page its amazing feeling when i see them very happy with the result.

6. See places

Now that i started photography i again, i intend to wake up early and go to place so i can shoot it with no to very less people. It is amazing how it made me drive to the destination at 6am just to shoot. Not just it made me see place but it also make me more healthier because i don't just stay in my room and do nothing. I feel so energetic and excited. There are so many places that i wanted to visit and shoot and for me that is exciting!

7. Understanding beyond photo

There are so many subject that a photographer can capture but most of those who love to photograph wanted to say or express something. If it is your great intention to connect and understand them in a deeper manner you need to pay attention to their photo it tell alo't about what matter to them, what they value and what they feel. 

Professional and enthusiast don't just captured photo, they express themselves through photo they capture the best those that they love or value the most. Photography is the expression of un-spoken words and a form of love.

Minimalist Traveler

Whenever i travel i receive questions such as, what OOTD (Outfit of the day) did you bring? what is your color pallet? What are your must have items? Honestly i don't have those since 2018 except for what are really essentials! Before i used to bring blower, dryers, towels, toiletries and ect, but now i always check if my hotel does provide one, or should i say i ensure that the hotel must have those for me to choose and booked it.

As to the OOTD's, I don't mind wearing the same cloths and the same color, perhaps am always wearing black or my wardrobe are mostly 95% black very basic cloths. Proud to say that from 6 door wardrobe i only have 2 doors wardrobe and am never running out of outfit. I save time and energy choosing what to wear.

Before minimalism, i used to carry almost 80kgs per trip per way! Am not kidding when i say its 80kgs! Normally whenever i go home to Philippines for may annual vacation i have regular 40kgs allowed from the airlines. But i always need to add additional 40kgs and take note its not even enough most of the time i need to pay over baggage fee! 

Looking back and remembering those days, i am often confuse what's inside my bag and its and often times i haven't open them or not even used them during my trip. Perhaps its all random stuff or just in case to be used items. Am a worry frick when i travel, before i felt that i need to put more inside my bag "just in case i need them" and when i arrive at my destination, being shopaholic myself i need to buy more and more items.

This is my second time traveling as minimalism. My 1st minimalism travel was back in 2019 when i travel from Philippines to Singapore and back to Qatar. It was a huge change, i felt so light and i can freely move at the airport! What a wonderful feeling carrying a cabin size bag and backpack only. I even had a time to read at airport!

Today, I travel again for 10 days trip Doha to Dubai, and guess what am only carrying 1 cabin size luggage at 11.3kgs! For me this is achievement! And i really would like to share the benefits of traveling as minimalism. Of course doing it was not easy for you to archive comfortability, and it didn't happen overnight. It takes a lot of determination and struggle for me to be able to achieve all of it. So let me share to you advantage of traveling as minimalist.

1. Save money

In many airlines there's a lot of options where in you can travel light, which means that if you have less luggage's you will get significant discount on your flights. Many minimalist or light travelers use it to their advantage and its really beneficial and cost saving.

2. Intentional Gift

Before minimalism whenever i go to other country i used to buy random souvenir and just randomly give it to my friends, although this time i still shop around for common souvenir like (key holders, magnets and ect) i did not exert much effort on buying bulk of that nor stress out on putting it to my baggage and do back and fort zip to suck it in. I left Qatar with around 11kgs and return to Qatar at around 14kgs! What an achievement.

I shop around of course and only but intentional gift for the people that i would like to give gift with and i see to it that its really what i would like to give to them. This way it would special and personalize, i am not a big gift giver but i should say i love giving present to the people that was dear to me.

3. Side trips 

Having no luggage to worry on will give you ample of time to enjoy the things around you, relax before your flight by having a good cup of coffee in a cool café, there are a lot of good restaurant that you can enjoy while at the airport and you can only do that when you have no luggage to carry on, it was a huge joy to see and discover hidden gems of places

When you only have your hand carry to worry then you can try free tour from Airports. There's alot of amazing free thing to see at the airport. Literally taking off the luggage's from your hand will help you be worry free. On contrary having too many luggage's will burden you plus the fact that you need to carry it, its heavy. Although i have observe that in many places now a days they have this pay in counter where you can leave your item but this is a plus cost. And i don't want to pay for that as minimalist.

I remember the day that i have to do work and that was a very stressful night because am dealing with something huge for task, then while at Dubai Train i remember the Al Saeed Area which is highly recommended to visit with, because i only have my should bag with me, i suddenly decided to stop by and boom, am there enjoying and wandering around, it was freeing!

4. Live and enjoy the the present

During the time that i am maximalist, i often visit places and end up carrying so many items considering its a souvenir or it was a gift. I felt that i need to buy all of them, i am always in search for the best things and best items to buy it makes me felt to much stress and i can't focus on enjoying the scenery, and the moment. 

During this trip i am lost in the moment, it was wanderlust, i felt like i belong here, that i have to seize the moment and be present i only need to capture photos and have fun. I had a chance to just explore carrying a very light bag. My foot is moving! it was an excitement to walk at every step.

So is minimalist traveling your cup of tea? Let me know!

The Jumeirah Mosque

The Jumeirah Mosque is one of the most loved architectural treasures in Dubai. Opened in 1979, Jumeirah Grand Mosque was a gift from the Late Sheikh Rashid bin Saeed Al Maktoum, the former Ruler of Dubai and father of the current Ruler of Dubai HH Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum.

The style of the architecture originated from Syria and Egypt and can accommodate approximately 1500 worshippers.(Source: www.jumeirahmosque.ae)

The Jumeirah Mosque is one of my recommended attraction when you visit Dubai specially for those who wanted to explore Islamic Architectures and get a glimpse of what Islam is all about. This is the only mosque that welcomes non-muslim.

Tour is done daily 1st Tour - 10am and 2nd Tour - 2pm. Please note that FRIDAY it is close as Muslim are praying. You need to do the registration at least 30 minutes before the program starts. It cost 35Dhr (10$) and it include Arabic Drinks and Foods. 

The tour start at Majilis (Majlis, Mejlis, or Majles is an Arabic and Persian term meaning "council", used to describe various types of special gatherings among common interest groups of administrative, social or religious nature in countries with linguistic or cultural connections to Islamic countries. (Source: Wikipedia)

You can enjoy the light Emarate snacks and buy some souvenirs from the Majilis if you wanted to, and enjoy and grab a chance of being photograph in Arabic seating area which is really fun to do and you can also dress up! I really enjoy the tour specially the Question and answer portions where the Imam accommodates various questions which are really informative. The Imam touches topics like Pillars of Islam, tawheed and Aqeeda. If you are muslim or have study Islam before its very refreshing to hear it also.

If your planning to join this tour and your using Dubai Metro you need to go down to Emirates Tower or World Trade Center and from this station take a Taxi it will Cost you around 25 Dirhams. During the mosque tour you are expected to wear modest dress and if you don't have one do not worry because you will find free Islamic dress that you can used during the tour. I hope you can try it and have fun! Godbless!

Stay Calm in Noisy World

  

Being busy has been our default, and being on social media has been part of default system. That's the reality of most of us if not all. Recently, i was juggling between my career and personal life, doing so many things at the same time, setting goals, objectives, activities and ect which i consider to be right thing to do as adult, BE PRODUCTIVE. I consider myself as workaholic, that earning money is no longer a need but a default of my life that's why aside from working regular job i have various business ventures.

I am also very competitive, although i don't compare myself to others, i really wanted to top up my previous achievements as always, i wanna be better, better version of myself as always, until my body beg me to rest last August 31, 2021. It beg me that i almost return back to square (or shall say back to surgery), thanks God it didn't happen. After gaining back my health i realize so many life lesson.

What am i doing? And why am doing all of this? Am feeding 10 people to work this much?!

As adult as i wanted to be, rather than venting all my drama to my social media, i opted to collect my scattered thoughts and composed this blog as am recovering and share to you all because i know that am not alone, somewhere out there are real people dealing/experiencing burned out same as i do, and so i hope that you will learn from it and may you take whatever is beneficial to you and leave the rest which is not.

1. The time you spend with yourself doing nothing is not time waste

We are in our ERA where rest is just details, pandemic has push many of us to stay at home and have less work, may people has turn to social media to express and lessen their boredom but we must not forget that their are US who has more work load during pandemic. We are not here to complain, Thank God that we have our work and we are earning well, while most of the people lost their job and source of income.

In my case instead of having less time to work, i need to do more task due to various obligations/responsibilities and being business minded myself i took the opportunity to do various business which is timely profitable during this crisis. 

It's exhausting to be honest! Yes i am earning more money than the usual, but if i wont reduce my activities might be i wont be able to enjoy my earning, realizing all of this make me pause for a while, and decide to lessen my workload and say no to many activities.

Idle is not in my vocabulary nor in the vocabulary of my friends, or the people around me, we are all busy people. But we must give time for ourself to enjoy being idle, visit a coffee shop, do some self reward like relaxation at saloon, shop for myself, or maybe give myself a good me time while just at home not in a hurry just living for a moment. Enjoying our downtime is necessary, it will help us gain our energy and do something that would help ourself feel better to become healthy.

2. Its okey to be few step behind

As competitive as i am of course i love to be on top of the game. But being on top is not always a cherry on top, because at times its too lonely up there. I remember the movie review we had during college for our Industrial Psychology class "The Devils wear Prada". I never thought that this movie will somehow becomes my reality. I understood that many of us hate our job, but we cannot afford to lost it also, we have to work to pay our bills, i thank God that i understood financial freedom before its too late, that help me back fires to my toxic work and environment. 

I dream that one day just like the movie i will leave corporate world and do a small living or van life. Some people say that those kind of people has no dreams and lazy but if your like me who is sick of the corporate world those are dreams. Those are goals.

3. Being too available

I always say this to friends, "am just a message away" which implies that even late at night they can call me, coz am damn too available for them. I had a friend who is suffering from depression and i feel that i am the only one who can help her, but the truth is, she can help herself and her doctor can. But here i am with my superhero role where i can save the world taking her calls that at times would last up to one hour and after our talk am so tired. It drains me that's the sad reality. 

Later i realize that its okey not to take her calls because she will learn to be strong on her own, and i need that time to rest, and be my self company, As i age i realized that self love is one of the hardest thing to do yet the most fulfilling things to do as well. Each day am filling my love cup, one day at a time.

Realizing this was not easy, i have too many what if, but then disconnecting from the world will make me gain myself and it took me alot of determination and will power to push myself to do this, finally refuse to answer calls, and reply's because i know they can wait, they are not urgent. Aside from that i also delete my personal IG where i am receiving too many messages and opted to keep my personal FB instead. Having one personal social network has help me decluttering and filtering to many information which i believe were not necessary and challenge to my mental health. 

4. Social Media Detox

I have read the book Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, after reading the book i begun to unfollow many people on my Facebook rather than un-friend specially those who are often posting drama's, i turn off many notifications and its life changing, but its not enough because i am still attached to my social media, i always itch to post, like, and comments. I read so many news and feeds that consciously and un-consciously that affect me in one way or the other.

But doing beyond that (i.e full social media detox for certain period of time) will do more good for your emotional, mental and physical health. Social media will make or break you, and living life outside of the social media is more genuine and awesome in my opinion. 

September 2021 is my 1st social media detox where i post less and only choose to whom to reply, i rarely visit my fb too but it means alot because i feel that i am living real life after many years. I am slowly getting back myself and not feeling obliged to response to messages that i know can wait, i am not also a celebrity wherein i need to update people about what's going on  with me.

5. Slowdown

We are living the busy world, our career, personal life and other activities, we play various role in life. and Juggling from one to the other can be at times too much for us, and we only realize them when our body beg us to stop. 

We work hard to achieve whatever we set for ourself, we work hard to have something and to make a mark in the society, but what we don't realize is taking slow is also good. Life isn't a race, life isn't about the destination, its about making the moments and making fun and memorable during the process. Let go of the life competitions, because after all, we can be the best but just for a moment, but not for a lifetime, because we can be replaced, what matter at this moment may not matter tomorrow or in few years to come. Learn to be gentle about yourself.

6. Mental Health

Perhaps talking about our mental health is still a taboo, at times the best person who display the happiest and the silliest smile is the one breaking inside, recognizing our need to address our struggle towards our mental health is our first step, but of course don't bother people around you too much by creating big issues and dramas even for just a little thing. We also have to bear in mind that like us we also have our battle. Be kind, be sensitive, respect one another. 

So how do you cope up in this busy world? Can you share them to me?

Young and Free, What's Wrong?

When we are young and free we become careless and we become abusive of ourselves and our freedom, we overdo things we suppose not too! We experiment life allot that at times we suffer the consequences when we grow up a little more adult. Of course when we are young adult its our time to try so many things so we still have the chance to correct ourselves and our mistakes. But not to the point that we destroy ourselves.

Many of us are still young by heart and so we should keep it that way because it will help us have a positive outlook in life. But also during our very young years we have made so many things that we regret alot, and we wish we could re-do and do it differently. For me whatever mistakes you made when we are young should serve as your stepping stone to be the best version of yourself. So cheer up! Lets discuss it.

1. One day millionaire

I was at the Congress of the Philippines as USAID scholar when i had hold money at the age of 19. At that time 22K allowance was huge for me because i only normally get allowance which is mostly 500PHP when i was in college and that was for a week. I was overwhelmed that i blow up my money all the time. It is true that life isn't about the amount of money you get, but the amount of money you save. If i were to bring back time i should be wise in spending it. 

So when i went abroad i made the same mistakes with a twist and that is to spend my money on gold jewelry. If you will ask my present self i should have done better by budgeting like putting my money into different basket, what i mean by that is to have emergency fund, ready available cash, investments, and spend also on self rewards. Am glad that its not yet late, am trying my best to cope up!

2. Too emotional 

Our emotions are so true when we are young, we believe that what we are feeling matters, that we should matter and people should listen to us. But often times its just our period or we are affected by the dramas we watch or into. If we could use our logic and take time before doing things slowly before arriving into our decision, maybe we could have a better result. Blame it to our youthful and being being in-experience!

3. We know it, so we can

In our early 20's (like 21 years old) we thought that we know everything that we become fearless. But the truth is we know very little things about the world, we are in-experience about what life really was and we decide based on our emotions. 

It is correct that we must develop our self confidence and should start doing things on our own at this stage, but we should consider the advantage and disadvantage of our plans before we should execute it, in this way damage will be less. Taking pre-cautionary measurement is a must.

4. What If's

So many people are afraid of making mistakes in their life that they left the world un-explore. Whenever i share my travel journey to my friend they would always asked me "aren't you sacred of traveling to another country alone" i honestly do not have answer except "it was fun". And they would always say "your brave!".

The truth is, we regret most of the things we did not do, than the things we do and for me that is the very scary positions. Of course we have to be caution that's why we should always do calculated risk. When i say calculated risk we mean to say that we should equip ourselves with correct information from reliable sources before we jump into it. So we know how to maneuver life. Regret is too heavy to carry and we cannot bring back the time we waste. Making up too late is like traveling by foot when you should be fying by airplane.

5. Doing what the majority does

I remember the time after graduating high school, almost everyone are getting BS Nursing, and i always tell my classmates "my patient will die if am a nurse". 

Thanks God i did not take nursing course. Because i do not think that i can make it. So, although i end up graduating Psychology i still could not find answer if your were to ask me if why did i take psychology as my course perhaps i would say "less math". But i failed anyway! (haha). My point is, if what the majority does doesn't adhere to our wants and goals then we should do whatever our heart want so that when at times that we feel tired we will only rest and never quit. 

6. Not learning enough

They say that experience is the best lesson. But this is too costly. So i agree with what most of the mentor when they say "Learn from the experience of others and never do it". One popular example that i can share on this regard is on "investment". Too many people want easy money, quick money scheme, but the truth is no shortcut to success. If we only do our homework very well then there would be no people who lost their hard earn money because of wrong investments. 

On the other hand, i see so many OFW's who spend their money for love and end up bankrupt. I always say this "Your heart and your money are two different things and so if you know it, i hope that you will use this lesson to safeguard yourself". Again this is not about being stingy or whatsoever, its just right for us to love ourself even better than anyone else because we cannot give what we don't have.

7. Not Loving our self more than enough

Perhaps young people are people pleaser (am speaking based on experience). We tend to do things for the people we love. Our parents, our siblings, our friends and our significant others. We give alo't that we forgot to fill our own cup of love. We will only realized this when we feel burned out and sometimes its too late to fix our broken pieces and we end up beating ourself. Being a young adult, loving ourself is a must! A mandatory, a necessary! Its not selfish its just right! 

So i hope that if you made mistakes when your young, you will use it become better version of yourself! So cheers!

I don't understand myself

 

For the past few weeks i am experiencing extreme roller coaster of emotions, at times my morale is too high that i felt too proud of myself, my work, my achievement and even talk how i surpass things i been through. But there's a lot of time that i feel too dumb and i wanna disappear. I wanna be alone and cry so hard until i lost tears. The worst i don't even want to hear any noise as i felt too irritated. 

I must admit that i am difficult person to deal with. I have huge mood swing and so many times i don't even understand myself that i end up putting the great wall of China between me and the people around me. I don't find myself comfortable welcoming people in mylife. Its not that i have trust issues, but for me investing deep conversations and emotions to other people is a full time job and i don't have the time to take care of this shit! (forgive me, am too blunt but its true).

Alright girl, blame it to the period, blame it to medications whatever you wanna call it. Life is indeed ups and down as many of the expert have explained but this roller coaster of emotions is too hard to deal specially when it happens to us, still we are blank and don't know what to do when it strikes. Sometimes we laugh and the other times we wanna explode, we felt so sad and depress. And if your experiencing this let me share to you few points to improve your mood, and better understand what's going on.

1. Know the trigger

I am perfectionist BEFORE! But after reading Wabi-Sabi i try to tone down, but still this kind of attitude was in me. So whenever something goes wrong i get irritated. Specially at work or my personal life. So when something goes wrong its too natural for me to get upset. But knowing the reason why am feeling blue help me take a pause, take a deep breath and assist what's going on, because most of the time, am exerting so much effort (or am getting angry to things that i supposed not get get angry at all).

2. Don't be too hard on yourself

We are always kind to the people around us, specially to our family, friends and our love ones but at time we are too hard on ourself. We blame ourself if the target we set for ourself wasn't meet, if our goal wasn't achieve. If your not hard on yourself then your lucky, because i am! And in this aspect i wanted to improve and become better, i wanna tell myself good thoughts specially when i am alone and uncertain of so many things, i wanna declutter things that give so much noise in mylife, i wanna give myself a break from trying to be hero for other people where i cant even make myself smile deep within. I wanna give myself the tender love and care that it need. Am working on that and that's a promise!

Loving myself isn't selfish, it is necessary for me to have a cup full of love, so i can share it to the people around me.

2. Don't lock yourself

Too many times after we finish our work we stay at home (Yes, blame it to the pandemic that we are push to stay inside our home because hey outside wasn't safe from the virus)! but our life has mostly evolve in our social media, i myself is hugely guilty of it where i put too many update most of the time. So many instances that i find myself trying to get validation for putting so many updated on my Facebook and Instagram, but believe me am trying to filter what i share, try to go out and enjoy real life outside my room and social media but of course one step at a time because i cannot push myself to do all things at once.

3. Be happy

There are so many things that are out of our control, but there are also so many things that we can control specially our reactions to certain situations and events. Sometimes we get angry, mad, sad, happy, surprise or what ever emotions you may feel. But trying to be calm and finding ways on how to cheer up yourself will help you lighten up your day. If you focus on things that destroy your mood you will always be sad. So choose to be happy.

4. Choose healthy options

For a very long time i was really having a huge health problems added to that is the lack of exercise,  but now a days i choose healthy foods and trying my best to attend my sports class. It was a life changing for me to go back to sports and go for healthy options because i feel incredibly in a good mood most of the time unlike before that when i am feeling down it would take few days before i can recover.

5. Read/ Listen to Inspirational thoughts

At first whenever i hear the word "find a mentor" i was really puzzle and do not understand it at all. As i quest to improve myself i found myself listening to self development videos and podcast via youtube or read books that would improve myself and now it becomes a habit. 

Every morning, while am preparing to go to office youtube video that talks about minimalism, tiny house living, finances and many other topic that inspire me, it helps me alot to fuel my day. By doing this i avoid listening or scrolling to social media that ruin my mode or add bad vibes.

6. Do things more

Few years have passed by and i forgot most of the things that i really enjoy, specially photography. i though its because i am just busy, but the truth is if things matter to us we alo't our time, effort and energy. We give importance to it. Few weeks back i decide to buy myself a camera and started to go back to photography. It makes a happy and divert my attention. Now i am not just busy, but also happily busy. My attention is diverted to something that give me joy and peace, something that i would be looking forward to see and do. It makes me excited to go to places and capture photos.

7. Take a rest

It might be contrary of what i wrote in number 6 which is to do more, but what i mean by this is sometimes we just need to declutter most of those un-ncessary schedule, activities and thoughts in our head. Spend a day of no social media day, or a day where you choose to chill, a days where you choose to spend it in your bed doing nothing. Because the time your spend for yourself is not a time waste!

Lastly to remember that It's okey not to be okey. To remind yourself that we as human being are capable of feeling good and bad. We have to embrace ourself, love ourself and our flaws. But never be forever sad, always pick up yourself, stand up and always be the better version of yourself.