For the past few weeks i am experiencing extreme roller coaster of emotions, at times my morale is too high that i felt too proud of myself, my work, my achievement and even talk how i surpass things i been through. But there's a lot of time that i feel too dumb and i wanna disappear. I wanna be alone and cry so hard until i lost tears. The worst i don't even want to hear any noise as i felt too irritated.
I must admit that i am difficult person to deal with. I have huge mood swing and so many times i don't even understand myself that i end up putting the great wall of China between me and the people around me. I don't find myself comfortable welcoming people in mylife. Its not that i have trust issues, but for me investing deep conversations and emotions to other people is a full time job and i don't have the time to take care of this shit! (forgive me, am too blunt but its true).
Alright girl, blame it to the period, blame it to medications whatever you wanna call it. Life is indeed ups and down as many of the expert have explained but this roller coaster of emotions is too hard to deal specially when it happens to us, still we are blank and don't know what to do when it strikes. Sometimes we laugh and the other times we wanna explode, we felt so sad and depress. And if your experiencing this let me share to you few points to improve your mood, and better understand what's going on.
1. Know the trigger
I am perfectionist BEFORE! But after reading Wabi-Sabi i try to tone down, but still this kind of attitude was in me. So whenever something goes wrong i get irritated. Specially at work or my personal life. So when something goes wrong its too natural for me to get upset. But knowing the reason why am feeling blue help me take a pause, take a deep breath and assist what's going on, because most of the time, am exerting so much effort (or am getting angry to things that i supposed not get get angry at all).
2. Don't be too hard on yourself
We are always kind to the people around us, specially to our family, friends and our love ones but at time we are too hard on ourself. We blame ourself if the target we set for ourself wasn't meet, if our goal wasn't achieve. If your not hard on yourself then your lucky, because i am! And in this aspect i wanted to improve and become better, i wanna tell myself good thoughts specially when i am alone and uncertain of so many things, i wanna declutter things that give so much noise in mylife, i wanna give myself a break from trying to be hero for other people where i cant even make myself smile deep within. I wanna give myself the tender love and care that it need. Am working on that and that's a promise!
Loving myself isn't selfish, it is necessary for me to have a cup full of love, so i can share it to the people around me.
2. Don't lock yourself
Too many times after we finish our work we stay at home (Yes, blame it to the pandemic that we are push to stay inside our home because hey outside wasn't safe from the virus)! but our life has mostly evolve in our social media, i myself is hugely guilty of it where i put too many update most of the time. So many instances that i find myself trying to get validation for putting so many updated on my Facebook and Instagram, but believe me am trying to filter what i share, try to go out and enjoy real life outside my room and social media but of course one step at a time because i cannot push myself to do all things at once.
3. Be happy
There are so many things that are out of our control, but there are also so many things that we can control specially our reactions to certain situations and events. Sometimes we get angry, mad, sad, happy, surprise or what ever emotions you may feel. But trying to be calm and finding ways on how to cheer up yourself will help you lighten up your day. If you focus on things that destroy your mood you will always be sad. So choose to be happy.
4. Choose healthy options
For a very long time i was really having a huge health problems added to that is the lack of exercise, but now a days i choose healthy foods and trying my best to attend my sports class. It was a life changing for me to go back to sports and go for healthy options because i feel incredibly in a good mood most of the time unlike before that when i am feeling down it would take few days before i can recover.
5. Read/ Listen to Inspirational thoughts
At first whenever i hear the word "find a mentor" i was really puzzle and do not understand it at all. As i quest to improve myself i found myself listening to self development videos and podcast via youtube or read books that would improve myself and now it becomes a habit.
Every morning, while am preparing to go to office youtube video that talks about minimalism, tiny house living, finances and many other topic that inspire me, it helps me alot to fuel my day. By doing this i avoid listening or scrolling to social media that ruin my mode or add bad vibes.
6. Do things more
Few years have passed by and i forgot most of the things that i really enjoy, specially photography. i though its because i am just busy, but the truth is if things matter to us we alo't our time, effort and energy. We give importance to it. Few weeks back i decide to buy myself a camera and started to go back to photography. It makes a happy and divert my attention. Now i am not just busy, but also happily busy. My attention is diverted to something that give me joy and peace, something that i would be looking forward to see and do. It makes me excited to go to places and capture photos.
7. Take a rest
It might be contrary of what i wrote in number 6 which is to do more, but what i mean by this is sometimes we just need to declutter most of those un-ncessary schedule, activities and thoughts in our head. Spend a day of no social media day, or a day where you choose to chill, a days where you choose to spend it in your bed doing nothing. Because the time your spend for yourself is not a time waste!
Lastly to remember that It's okey not to be okey. To remind yourself that we as human being are capable of feeling good and bad. We have to embrace ourself, love ourself and our flaws. But never be forever sad, always pick up yourself, stand up and always be the better version of yourself.
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