Regret

 My sanctuary turns into the saddest cabin,

candles cries day and night.

while my own tears has dry up.

suddenly it’s all night,

darkness everywhere.

The rays of sunshine never come.

the place has been quit.

I am alive that's for sure,

for my heart is still beating so fast.

Yet to what i feel and think

i also don't know but, 

it felt like floating somewhere far

Where I can see nothing but waters and sky

I keep on paddling just to survive

to what i am thinking i also do not know.

All i know is that am still alive

as my heart is beating and racing still

while catching up my breathing.

Shall i blame myself or the people around me

i felt i was fooled and even betrayed

i felt i was drag into the darkness tunnel.

I regret my decision

For it cost me a lot.

I hope i buy time, 

to have a bit of clarity and ask myself 

if this is what i really want.

But it's too late for an Oscar drama.

Damage has been done!

Now, all I can is to continue survive

and so I spoke to God up above

Beg him to help me

for i am weak and i am about to give up

for I am about to reach my end

I am dying inside.

While laughing perfectly hiding my storm.

I ask my lord to rescue me

for this powerless servant has nothing to hold

except the help of the weak who believe in me.

and i can make it somehow.

At times I ask God, why me?

I wasn’t that bad after all.

I pray, give charity, and do good acts.

Up to now I don’t know the answer

I doubt myself for what life is all about

Is it about fame and success?

For those are just in past

 I want nothing but world small portion.

Wealth, status, and ownership is no longer what I fancy

For many I was a failure 

But I don’t give a fuck!

For life glitters are just for a show.

Photo belong to the rightful Owner

 Original Poem. All rights reserved