Young and Free, What's Wrong?

When we are young and free we become careless and we become abusive of ourselves and our freedom, we overdo things we suppose not too! We experiment life allot that at times we suffer the consequences when we grow up a little more adult. Of course when we are young adult its our time to try so many things so we still have the chance to correct ourselves and our mistakes. But not to the point that we destroy ourselves.

Many of us are still young by heart and so we should keep it that way because it will help us have a positive outlook in life. But also during our very young years we have made so many things that we regret alot, and we wish we could re-do and do it differently. For me whatever mistakes you made when we are young should serve as your stepping stone to be the best version of yourself. So cheer up! Lets discuss it.

1. One day millionaire

I was at the Congress of the Philippines as USAID scholar when i had hold money at the age of 19. At that time 22K allowance was huge for me because i only normally get allowance which is mostly 500PHP when i was in college and that was for a week. I was overwhelmed that i blow up my money all the time. It is true that life isn't about the amount of money you get, but the amount of money you save. If i were to bring back time i should be wise in spending it. 

So when i went abroad i made the same mistakes with a twist and that is to spend my money on gold jewelry. If you will ask my present self i should have done better by budgeting like putting my money into different basket, what i mean by that is to have emergency fund, ready available cash, investments, and spend also on self rewards. Am glad that its not yet late, am trying my best to cope up!

2. Too emotional 

Our emotions are so true when we are young, we believe that what we are feeling matters, that we should matter and people should listen to us. But often times its just our period or we are affected by the dramas we watch or into. If we could use our logic and take time before doing things slowly before arriving into our decision, maybe we could have a better result. Blame it to our youthful and being being in-experience!

3. We know it, so we can

In our early 20's (like 21 years old) we thought that we know everything that we become fearless. But the truth is we know very little things about the world, we are in-experience about what life really was and we decide based on our emotions. 

It is correct that we must develop our self confidence and should start doing things on our own at this stage, but we should consider the advantage and disadvantage of our plans before we should execute it, in this way damage will be less. Taking pre-cautionary measurement is a must.

4. What If's

So many people are afraid of making mistakes in their life that they left the world un-explore. Whenever i share my travel journey to my friend they would always asked me "aren't you sacred of traveling to another country alone" i honestly do not have answer except "it was fun". And they would always say "your brave!".

The truth is, we regret most of the things we did not do, than the things we do and for me that is the very scary positions. Of course we have to be caution that's why we should always do calculated risk. When i say calculated risk we mean to say that we should equip ourselves with correct information from reliable sources before we jump into it. So we know how to maneuver life. Regret is too heavy to carry and we cannot bring back the time we waste. Making up too late is like traveling by foot when you should be fying by airplane.

5. Doing what the majority does

I remember the time after graduating high school, almost everyone are getting BS Nursing, and i always tell my classmates "my patient will die if am a nurse". 

Thanks God i did not take nursing course. Because i do not think that i can make it. So, although i end up graduating Psychology i still could not find answer if your were to ask me if why did i take psychology as my course perhaps i would say "less math". But i failed anyway! (haha). My point is, if what the majority does doesn't adhere to our wants and goals then we should do whatever our heart want so that when at times that we feel tired we will only rest and never quit. 

6. Not learning enough

They say that experience is the best lesson. But this is too costly. So i agree with what most of the mentor when they say "Learn from the experience of others and never do it". One popular example that i can share on this regard is on "investment". Too many people want easy money, quick money scheme, but the truth is no shortcut to success. If we only do our homework very well then there would be no people who lost their hard earn money because of wrong investments. 

On the other hand, i see so many OFW's who spend their money for love and end up bankrupt. I always say this "Your heart and your money are two different things and so if you know it, i hope that you will use this lesson to safeguard yourself". Again this is not about being stingy or whatsoever, its just right for us to love ourself even better than anyone else because we cannot give what we don't have.

7. Not Loving our self more than enough

Perhaps young people are people pleaser (am speaking based on experience). We tend to do things for the people we love. Our parents, our siblings, our friends and our significant others. We give alo't that we forgot to fill our own cup of love. We will only realized this when we feel burned out and sometimes its too late to fix our broken pieces and we end up beating ourself. Being a young adult, loving ourself is a must! A mandatory, a necessary! Its not selfish its just right! 

So i hope that if you made mistakes when your young, you will use it become better version of yourself! So cheers!

I don't understand myself

 

For the past few weeks i am experiencing extreme roller coaster of emotions, at times my morale is too high that i felt too proud of myself, my work, my achievement and even talk how i surpass things i been through. But there's a lot of time that i feel too dumb and i wanna disappear. I wanna be alone and cry so hard until i lost tears. The worst i don't even want to hear any noise as i felt too irritated. 

I must admit that i am difficult person to deal with. I have huge mood swing and so many times i don't even understand myself that i end up putting the great wall of China between me and the people around me. I don't find myself comfortable welcoming people in mylife. Its not that i have trust issues, but for me investing deep conversations and emotions to other people is a full time job and i don't have the time to take care of this shit! (forgive me, am too blunt but its true).

Alright girl, blame it to the period, blame it to medications whatever you wanna call it. Life is indeed ups and down as many of the expert have explained but this roller coaster of emotions is too hard to deal specially when it happens to us, still we are blank and don't know what to do when it strikes. Sometimes we laugh and the other times we wanna explode, we felt so sad and depress. And if your experiencing this let me share to you few points to improve your mood, and better understand what's going on.

1. Know the trigger

I am perfectionist BEFORE! But after reading Wabi-Sabi i try to tone down, but still this kind of attitude was in me. So whenever something goes wrong i get irritated. Specially at work or my personal life. So when something goes wrong its too natural for me to get upset. But knowing the reason why am feeling blue help me take a pause, take a deep breath and assist what's going on, because most of the time, am exerting so much effort (or am getting angry to things that i supposed not get get angry at all).

2. Don't be too hard on yourself

We are always kind to the people around us, specially to our family, friends and our love ones but at time we are too hard on ourself. We blame ourself if the target we set for ourself wasn't meet, if our goal wasn't achieve. If your not hard on yourself then your lucky, because i am! And in this aspect i wanted to improve and become better, i wanna tell myself good thoughts specially when i am alone and uncertain of so many things, i wanna declutter things that give so much noise in mylife, i wanna give myself a break from trying to be hero for other people where i cant even make myself smile deep within. I wanna give myself the tender love and care that it need. Am working on that and that's a promise!

Loving myself isn't selfish, it is necessary for me to have a cup full of love, so i can share it to the people around me.

2. Don't lock yourself

Too many times after we finish our work we stay at home (Yes, blame it to the pandemic that we are push to stay inside our home because hey outside wasn't safe from the virus)! but our life has mostly evolve in our social media, i myself is hugely guilty of it where i put too many update most of the time. So many instances that i find myself trying to get validation for putting so many updated on my Facebook and Instagram, but believe me am trying to filter what i share, try to go out and enjoy real life outside my room and social media but of course one step at a time because i cannot push myself to do all things at once.

3. Be happy

There are so many things that are out of our control, but there are also so many things that we can control specially our reactions to certain situations and events. Sometimes we get angry, mad, sad, happy, surprise or what ever emotions you may feel. But trying to be calm and finding ways on how to cheer up yourself will help you lighten up your day. If you focus on things that destroy your mood you will always be sad. So choose to be happy.

4. Choose healthy options

For a very long time i was really having a huge health problems added to that is the lack of exercise,  but now a days i choose healthy foods and trying my best to attend my sports class. It was a life changing for me to go back to sports and go for healthy options because i feel incredibly in a good mood most of the time unlike before that when i am feeling down it would take few days before i can recover.

5. Read/ Listen to Inspirational thoughts

At first whenever i hear the word "find a mentor" i was really puzzle and do not understand it at all. As i quest to improve myself i found myself listening to self development videos and podcast via youtube or read books that would improve myself and now it becomes a habit. 

Every morning, while am preparing to go to office youtube video that talks about minimalism, tiny house living, finances and many other topic that inspire me, it helps me alot to fuel my day. By doing this i avoid listening or scrolling to social media that ruin my mode or add bad vibes.

6. Do things more

Few years have passed by and i forgot most of the things that i really enjoy, specially photography. i though its because i am just busy, but the truth is if things matter to us we alo't our time, effort and energy. We give importance to it. Few weeks back i decide to buy myself a camera and started to go back to photography. It makes a happy and divert my attention. Now i am not just busy, but also happily busy. My attention is diverted to something that give me joy and peace, something that i would be looking forward to see and do. It makes me excited to go to places and capture photos.

7. Take a rest

It might be contrary of what i wrote in number 6 which is to do more, but what i mean by this is sometimes we just need to declutter most of those un-ncessary schedule, activities and thoughts in our head. Spend a day of no social media day, or a day where you choose to chill, a days where you choose to spend it in your bed doing nothing. Because the time your spend for yourself is not a time waste!

Lastly to remember that It's okey not to be okey. To remind yourself that we as human being are capable of feeling good and bad. We have to embrace ourself, love ourself and our flaws. But never be forever sad, always pick up yourself, stand up and always be the better version of yourself.