I am FAT! (oh let me correct it, according to BMI below at the height of 4"11 with the weight of 79kg am obese (how sad).
Source: https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm
90kgs at my heaviest, seeing the scale turns to 79kgs and my waistline from 45 to 29.5 i am very happy with my progress because i lost total of 11kgs as i write this blog.
It took me many many years and i never thought that i would arrive to where i am now (trying my best everyday to be healthy). I thought that i would live my life accepting the fact that i am fat, and will be forever fat. Until one day, i decide to change my life, shut up and get the shit done!
But is getting fat our choice or not!
My honest answer is OUR CHOICE!
For many years i was in denial that i am fat. How i say so? i simply compare myself to the people who are also fat and un-healthy to give justification to myself. I find myself that i belong! instead of addressing my issue, i find comfort in people who are in worst health condition than i am. And i always felt that i belong to the club!
For many years i used my health condition to piggy out, by visiting various restaurant in Qatar and trying the best possible meals my money could afford. For many years i did not touch badminton racket wherein in fact i was an athlete from Grade school to College. I try my best to go back to sport but it is only the mind the goes and never the heart and the body that i can say it is the very reason why i failed and become fat for many years!
Loosing weight is so hard and difficult mentally, emotionally and physically specially for those who are working in corporate world doing regular 8-5 job and mostly i seat and face my computer screen for 8 hours or more. Many people thought that we are just seating for nothing, that our work is very easy as 1, 2, & 3 but the truth is, we are working so hard mentally and emotionally that we always end up so stress. Yet our motor skill is not much in used! We end up piggying and doing idle. Most of us opted to sleep whenever we are get chance (our time off) because the stress is too high and sleep is the best escape. For us, sleep is heaven, a great escape to shutdown our world.
We make excuses, and our reason is endless! Our reason is valid well depends on what you believe in! Honestly we are all busy! We are all tired, but if your "WHY" is strong, your will succeed that's why i believe that deciding to be healthy is also a mental and emotional battle, our biggest enemy is our self, our biggest insecurities is our reflections because i trust that no body enjoy seeing their fats!
Finally i decide to end this curse! I enroll myself into sport class 3 times a week with intense one hour training (although as i try to edit this blog the Gym in Qatar are close due to precautionary measurement for Covid-19 pandemic) now that i do not have class am walking or exercising at home with just barbel and following routine via youtube. I spend 1 hour each day regardless of how bad my day was to exercise. My target weight is 56 based on my BMI so i still need to sweat and do my best (In Shaa Allah i'll have my ideal BMI). Aside from doing 1 hour exercise each day i am also into clean eating when i say clean eating is choosing right kind of food at the right amount. Since i decided to get serious about myself i also do not allow myself to make my own excuse regardless of how bad my day was, as long as i can move, i will try my best. Struggle is huge! Struggle is real! Indeed! Although people say that i should have cheat days but i will do when i am confident, for now i will train and keep on training!
A lot of the days i find my self too tired from Office work and i wanna skip my exercise but then seeing the result makes me work even better. I need to inspire myself that i keep my fat photo and keep on telling myself "Lanie, keep goin, your not going back!", "Lanie, you wont be fat forever" Keeping yourself motivated and show up for exercise is the hardest part! (the consistency) because of so many reason, you have days where you feel don't like moving, but i go back to my goal as always. I review my wants, my goal as well as i assist where i am.
I also do reward system to keep myself motivated, but never a reward for cheat days!. And follow people who are into fitness. I refrain to feed myself with whatever thought that would take me away from taking good care of myself, mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. I simply refuse so! When we learn to take good care of health we will eventually realized that our days seems to be more bright, productive and happy.
If your are fat right now, piggying up for many years i want to tell you that it is not yet the end of the world for you. Know your goal, start deciding if you really wanna live your life fat forever or you wanna achieve something that would make you feel proud of yourself and healthy. If you do then start within your self, take a moment to make a one step and go our of your comfort zone, embrace the pain then keep going!.
Are you ready?
